I'm not quite sure I understand your problem. You see, i'm a cartoon character, and I fall in love with cartoon characters all the time. Is your problem simply a phobia of inter-realital relationships? You really shouldn't be. If I fall in love with a real person, I'm not going to complain; I'm going to enjoy it. And I think that you should do the same.

Or, is the problem that this cartoon character doesn't love you back? or does the cartoon character not even know that you exist? if it's the second case, just tell me who it is, and if he or she is in the same universe as myself, I'll simply to speak to said cartoon character for you, and try to set the two of you up. Of course, there's still the problem of actually going out on a date. For that, you'll need to get your hands on an inter-dimensional portal-generator. As to how you'll go about that, I'll let you discover for yourself.

Now, back to the case where--wait, I should address something first: When you write to me, please give me all important details so I can qactually adress your case specifically. It's quite a pain to respond to your questions aon a five-case-per-question basis--get over him or her. It's really not that complicated. By your mentioning that the object of your affection is a cartoon character, I take it that you believe that there may be a different set of rules. Well, there isn't. Get your Ben & Jerry's, a big spoon, and rent twenty movies from Blockbuster or Hollywood Video, whichever chain you hold a loyalty towards.

And, if you're cute, I'm still single.

The younger the people involved are, the greater a difference an age difference is. The gravity of the difference is really proprtional to the difference of the ages as a percentage of the younger person. Therefore, there is 20% age problem between a person 15 and a person 18. It's really optimal to achieve a percentage less than 10%. If you met at camp, that implies that you are most likely 20 or younger. And if this guy is five years younger than you, that's at the very least a 33% age problem. Really, you should be ashamed of yourself. He's just a kid! Why don't you go find someone your own age?I may be the soldier of love, but I'm not find-yourself-a-kid-to-love service! I should feel insulted!

Okay, now that I've covered that, let's discuss how you can show him what he's missing. First of all, if you're physically attractive, get naked and run into him several times every day, naked. Eventually he'll give in and say, "Gee, you look good naked." If you're intelligent, write a book and force him to read it. If you're artistic, paint him a picture. If you're ugly, stupid, and not creative, give up and go find some other fifteen-year-old boy to sexually harrass.