Sailor Moon Says, Season 2
Welcome to Sailor Moon Says: Your Weekly Alternative! This page has the archived episodes of the second season of Sailor Moon Says. To go back the directory of second season archived epispodes, click the link at the bottom of the page...
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Starring...
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Molly
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Luna
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Lita
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Amy
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Serena
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Raye
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Mina
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Alan
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Melvin
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Sunday, November 21st, 1999
One more capuiccino, please!
That's your seventh one today, Raye!
Well, I'd like to enjoy this one evening that we aren't spending working at Hal's Heaven. He is such a creep!
He looks like my old boyfriend...
Maybe he is your old boyfriend!
Whoa! That'd be wild!
I think we need Amy here, in case the Negaverse shows up!
But she's evil now!
But Alan just messed with our minds... It isn't her fault!
I miss Molly...
Yeah, whatever happened to her, anyway? You guys didn't leave her behind...
As a matter of fact we did...
Then why didn't Alan recruit her as well?
Because we left her behind in Las Vegas, not Japan.
Along with Melvin...
I do wish they would return to the show... It's getting pretty boring with only five of us.
What show?!?
Six of us... don't forget Hal...
Sewena!
Molly? What are you doing in this coffee house?
Serena!
Uh... Hi, Melvin... *Groan*
Well the train left before we could buy the tickets...
(Author's Note: Read episode seven!)
So you stayed in Las Vegas?
Well we still had the sixty dollars that you gave us, so we gambled it!
Oh no! Did you lose it all!
Not at all! As a matter of fact, we won thirty-thousand dollars playing baccarat! So we called the train company to see where you guys got off!
*Giggle*
They said New York City. So we came here, bought a penthouse-
*Giggle*
Stop that, Melvin!
Ouch! That hurt!
And we searched the city for you guys... Where've you been?
We've been working at Hal's Heaven trying to pay off our debt!
Your... debt?
Yeah; a taxi-driver with an accent drove through Hal's Heaven's front door trying to run us over because we didn't have any money to pay him with...
So then where are you guys staying?
Oh, Alan, I mean Hal, is lending us some apartments above his heaven!
Well our penthouse has one extra apartment... Would you like to live with us, Serena?
Oh, wow, you're the best best friend ever! Can Luna move in with me?
Of course! Now, let's go move you in!
Bye guys!
Stay here, Melvin!
Bye!
Why are they leaving him here? *Sigh*
So what's up, guys?
Somebody end this episode!
Sailor Jupiter Says: Why does she get to live in the penthouse?
Waaaaahhhhhh!!!!! I wanna live in the penthouse!
I already live in the penthouse...
Hmmm....
Sunday, December 12th, 1999
Hey everybody! Sorry it's been so long since the last episode, but Gemini6Ice has been very busy lately!
Hey, what's going on?
Oh, hi, Mina! We're moving Serena into me and Melvin's penthouse!
Ooh! Can I help?
Sure thing! Where's everybody else?
Alan, I mean, Hal, Raye, Lita, and Luna are all working at Hal's Heaven. I have the night off. Melvin is indulging himself at the nearest arcade.
No I'm not!
Where'd you come from?
Oh, I ran out of quarters, so I decided to come back up here and help Serena unpack. It looks like you decided to do the same!
Where do you want this lamp?
I don't want it! It's ugly! Where did it come from?
It's your lamp, Serena.
Well you can put it in your room, because I don't like it...
But I don't remember us ever buying a lamp! And even if we brought it with us from, Japan, we wouldn't have it anymore, because of the plane crash! Or for that matter-
Shut up!!!
Oh, look, the lamp just disappeared!
Yeah, that's what happens when you point out a plot hole! It gets immediately corrected, and we don't want to lose the rest of Serena's stuff!
I'm sorry...
Well, atleast we don't have to worry about who has to take the lamp now, right?
Hey, everybody...
Hi, Lita... What's wrong?
I kept flirting with Hal all night, and he kept rejecting me...
You wanna help us unpack Serena's stuff?
Just be sure not to point out any plot holes.
Okay... Hmm... where do you want this milk?
What's the expiration date?
June 17th, 1999
Put it in the freezer, so it won't expire any more...
But I'm a cook! And this milk is no good now! We should pour it out...
Pour it out in the sink? As in, you mean, someone stands in front of the sink and tilts the milk carton?
Of course!
But whoever pours it out will have to smell it as they pour it out... Who wants to volunteer to pour it out?
Maybe we should put it in the freezer...
What a great idea!
Wow, I wish I'd thought of that...
That wasn't sarcasm, was it, Serena?
No... why?
Nevermind...
Okay!
Okay that's the last of it!
Not quite...
But nothing's left... oh...
That's right: bubble-wrap!!!
Sailor Moon Says: Bubble-wrap! Woohoo!
Sunday, December 19th, 1999
Hey, honey, what's going on?
Nothing really... just chatting on our new Apple iBook!
(Psst... Gemini6Ice, how much do you get for these plugs?)
Oh, really? To who?
Whom. Ouch! I dunno... some girl in Japan... She calls herself SmartGrrl2.
Ask her what her real name is...
Let's see... My friend wants to know what your real name is...
Your "friend"?!? You miserable low-life scum!!!
Wait! Molly!
Don't expect to see me again! Until dinner, that is... I'm dying for the alfredo chicken we've got simmering in the oven!
*Sigh* Her name is... Amy? Oh, wow!
(Okay this is where we switch from real-life dialogue to chat-room dialogue.)
So what's your name?
Well I already know you...
What?
Hi, it's me... Melvin.
Melvin? Oh my gosh... I miss you guys so much... And I wanted to say that I'm really sorry about the whole trying to kill you guys incident...
But didn't you do it because you were mad at us?
Actually, I think it was due to Alan's influence on me... I mean, Lita never came back after attacking you guys... I assumed she got rid of you or something...
I wasn't there when it happened. I heard that they convinced her to not kill them.
Where were you?
Oh Molly and I were gambling and making a fortune in Las Vegas after they dumped us behind...
They did?!? Did you try to kill them as well?
No, we weren't that bitter... We just gambled their money to make our own fortune, then we bought a penthouse here in New York.
Heh. Good work. ^_-
But what happened to Alan? Aren't you two still in cahoots to kill us all?
Actually, he was kidnapped by a brainwashing department of the United States government. They brainwashed him unto the name "Hal".
Hal?!? This is too wierd!
What is?
Hal owns Hal's Heaven, the stri-, I mean, night club, where Serena, Lita, Mina, and Raye work!
(Now we slowly merge real-life and chat room into one...)
So maybe I should come over to the U.S. with you guys... I'm all alone here...
Yeah, maybe you should...
And another thing-
Hi, who are you?
Where's that voice coming from?
What voice? This is all in text... We're in a chat room...
Sorry, I seem to have screwed up reality again...
If our dinner gets disconnected, you'e in deep trouble, mister!
Melvin...
Yes, Amy?
Amy? That evil snipe who tried to kill us all, and almost suceeded?!?
It wasn't my fault! I was under Alan's control!
What were you going to tell me?
Melvin, I'm... I'm very attracted to you...
Ditto...
Hello?!?! Girlfriend right here, Amy!
Ow!
That better, Molly? Now we're all real-life...
And you're so smart...
That's it! You're sleeping on the couch tonight, Melvin!
Can Amy stay with me?
Do whatever! I don't care! I just don't want to see it!
Dinner's ready; I'd better turn off the computer now...
Uh, Molly? She disappeared! She became the chat room person!
Aw, she complained too much anyway... Care to eat some dinner?
Sure thing, sweetheart!
What the... how did I get in the cyber-cafe? Atleast I'm still in New York... Sailor Molly Says: More cappuccino, please!
Sunday, January 9th, 2000
The year 2000! The new millenium!
Actually, ditz-for-brains, the new millenium doesn't start until 2001!
The new century then!
Wrong again, lame-o! The twenty-first century isn't until 2001 either.
New century?
Nope!
Mina, help me defeat Raye and her evil logic, please!
I'm sorry, Serena, but Raye's right.
Right. Let's just say the new year, and leave it at that!
But the new year doesn't start until 2001!
Well now that it's January 9th already, yeah, but we had a new year a few days ago, dummy!
Fine! You guys are always so mean to me! I'm going to bed! You two harass- which key opens this stupid door?!? Oh okay... As I was saying, you two just harass Molly and Melvin!
Hi Sewena...
Molly... what are you doing in my room...?
You mean our room, now.
No! Get outta my room! It's my room!
Hey! You can kick me out of your room-
Good! I will!
But I pay the rent, so I can kick you out of the apartment!
Molly, my best friend! Why didn't you say that you wanted to be roomies with me! What happened? Why aren't you and Melvin in the same room anymore...
That stupid, um, smart girl, Amy! I hate her!
Well I know she attempted to kill us and all, but can't you be a little forgiving?
Oh, that? I don't care about that incident! I'm talking about the fact that she stole my man!
What do you mean?
She's seduced Melvin, and now they're- *sniffle* in love with each other!
But how could she do that? She's in Japan...
No, not anymore. We accidently screwed up reality and she popped into our apartment through a computer chat room...
So you're saying Amy's back?!?
Yeah... That wretched, wretch!
Woohoo! Amy!!!!!
Hey, come back here, Sewena! We were having a hawt-to-hawt convewsation!
Serena! I'm so sorry for trying to murder you, and the almost succeeding part too!
It's okay, Amy! Nothing can separate best friends, right? Not even murder and mayhem!
And maiming!
You two are still here?
Yeah, ditz, we just wanted to have some of this leftover alfredo chicken, okay?
And Miami!
And Molly?
Ummmmm.... no.
Ouch! Why'd you shove me over the couch like that, you terrible... terror!?!
'Cause you deserved it!
Waaahhhh!!! That's it! I'm going to my room!
Wait, that's the wrong roo- oh wait, she's in my room now, that's right!
Wait, I'm confused... Are you Molly's best friend or Amy's?
Oh who knows? It changes every other episode... The writer's too stupid to undestand continuity!
And if she stretches any of my clothes with that pudgy bottom of hers...
I heard that!!!!
So is this all that this episode was good for? Introducing the other characters to the return of Amy?
Well, Gemini6Ice has been very busy lately, with school starting back up and all... So I'm pretty sure that he needs to wrap this up...
So what are we waiting for? Sailor Moon Says-
Oh yeah, now I remember! Hal is really Alan, but brainwashed!
Wow, that's amazing! Now, back to me... Sailor Moon Says: Choose your best friends carefully! Always make sure they're less popular than you, but a smaller size, so that they won't screw up any of your clothing, by stretching it out!
I heard that!!!!
Sunday, January 23rd, 2000
So, guys, we have to decide what to do about this whole Alan-slash-Hal thing!
What do you mean?
What I mean is, do we just pretend like he's just "Hal, the guy that looks like Alan", or do we actually tell him who he used to be! That he used to be a space alien!
Used to be? As in not a space alien anymore? Dumb blonde...
Well if we tell him, there are two possible outcomes. Either he believes us or he doesn't.
Well duh!
You shut up! Now, as I was saying... If he doesn't believe us either he'll take it as a a joke or fire you because he's scared of you. Secondly, if he does believe you, he'll most likely want to go back to being who he used to be, and will strive to become Alan again. He may succeed or he may not. If he does, he'll still want his revenge, and we'll all be in trouble!
You remember last season when he wasn't evil? *Sigh*
I know! All we have to do is heal him, Serena! Then that will A, return his memories, and two, make him good again!
Great idea!
Okay, listen up you wanna-be-blonde! When listing, use the same format! Either say A then B, or say one then two. Not one then B!
I didn't say one then B; I said A then two!
Hey, has anybody seen Luna?
No... she hasn't been around the last several episodes... I wonder what happened to her!
What episodes?!?!?!?
Well Gemini6Ice was upset because we had gotten down to only four main characters in the show, and now that we've added back in everyone, and then Amy-
Hey! I'm not part of everyone?!?!
There hasn't been enough room in the recent episodes for Luna... Nor Hal-
Alan.
Guy that looks like-
Her old boyfriend...
My point is: what do we do?
How about we go heal Hal back into Alan right now, thus putting him back in the show!
No. That's a stupid idea! I have a much better one! We go heal Hal back into Alan right now!
That's what I just said!
Great idea, Ames!
Yeah, why can't you ever come up with anything good like that, Molly?
You people are so mean! *Sniffle* Nobody loves me!
There she goes off again, crying like a little baby! Yeah, go to your room we won't miss you! Was that a slam? We could barely hear it! *Cackle*
All right! Let's go heal Hal slash Alan!
Oh no! We can't!
Why not?
No fair! I wanted to see him again!!!!
We're out of time for this episode!
Bah! You're all nuts!
Is it really time we're out of? I mean, these episdes are in text, so if anything we could run out of disk space, memory, or bandwidth.
Crazy, I tell you!
I was referring to Gemini6Ice writing this late at night when he has to get up for school the next morning.
Oh.
So do I do the Sailor Moon Says then?
No, not then. Now.
I wanna do it! Please! If I don't get to see that guy that looks like my old boyfriend until next episode, please atleast let me conclude this episode!
You all belong on a funny farm! Hey, Serena would be the pig!
Har-dee-har-har, Raye. Sure thing, Lita!
Yay! Sailor Jupiter Says: Hal is Alan and Alan looks hot. Hal looks like my old boyfriend. Thus, my old boyfriend looks hot!
I'd just like to mention that logic was algebraic logic.
You're so smart!
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