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Knock-knock!
Who's there?
A new episode!
A new episode who?
What?
Where?
When?
Why-
-can't you two SHUT UP!?!
Raye, leave them alone while they're playing house... They're not hurting anyone...
But they're getting on my NERVES!!!
Knock-knock!
Who's there?
...
Hello?
I'm thinking! Hold on a second...
That's it! I'm leaving! You coming, Darien?
Actually, I thought I'd stick around here for a whi-i-i-
She's with Halan now, remember?
Bye Darien! Bye Raye!
Byyyyeeee!
Got one yet?
Umm... yeah.
Who's there?
...
I thought you said you came up with one!
I did!
Well...?
Well what?
Well what is it?
I ran away after knocking!
*Groan* That was stupid...
You actually expected something smart from me? Play house with Amy next time!
Amy's too mature to play house with us!
Yeah! She makes me angry!
So... how did your date with Halan go...?
We accidentally went to Japan and almost drowned... Then because he sells video-game bandicoots on the black market, the police confiscated my Sony Playstation before I was grounded by Amy for coming in late!
That sucks.
Yeah...
You heard from Halan yet...?
No... I called him yesterday, which was the day after I was grounded, although that was almost two months ago, and the number had been disconnected!
Oh yeah! Lita was telling me that she went down to Halan's Heaven for her shift and the place was closed down and empty...
I hear you knocking!
But you caa-aaa-aaan't come in!
No! Seriously, I hear you knocking!
I'm not... Oh wait! I hear it too!
Where's it coming from?
The kitchen? No...
The TV? No...
Amy and Melvin's room? *Giggle*
I don't get it...
Well... it's kind of inappropriate so I'll explain it to you after the episode's over. Besides, they aren't even home!
Oh yeah...
The front door! It's coming from the front door! Is someone out there?
Yes!
Do you want in or something?
Uh... yeah!
You don't sound too sure of yourself there!
Just let me in, please!
Then knock!
I am!
With your voice!
Knock-knock?
Who's there?
Halan!
Halan who?
Well you don't have to cry about it!
Huh?
Oh... Wrong joke... Sorry...
Can I come in please?
Of course! Hi, Halan... Your phone's disconnected!
I know! You guys have got to hide me! The police searched my club and found my private collection!
What kind of collection?
My animals! A bandicoot, a blue hedgehog, a green dinosaur with a saddle... Also an acrobatic bat... A chocobo... An echidna... A flying something with two tails...
Wow... an acrobatic bat? They're classic animals!
I know! I smuggled them through many black market platforms, such as the original NES mafia and the Segamores... I spent thousands through the Dreamcastodians! It cost me tons of money! And those police have confiscated them all! They shut down my club! Turned off my phones! They even raided my refrigerator!
NOOOOO!!!!!!!
Did they take anything?
All my Little Debbie cakes!
*WAIL*
Is she okay? She's more upset than I am!
I don't know... we'd better end this episode!
Sure thing! Halan the Alien Says: Always hide smuggled animals well! Encrypt them if you have to!
Okay, so we just left the apartment, and we're at that coffee shop again.
I can see that, Darien.
I wasn't talking to you, Raye.
Then who were you talking to?
Do you really want to get in this dispute again?
Not at the moment... I'm kinda tired...
Then how about some coffee?
Wow! That's a great idea! How'd you think of that?
We're in a coffee shop...
Oh. Right. Teeheehee.
Are you giggling?
No... Teeheemmph...
Uh... Raye... Are you okay?
*Nods head*
Wanna take your hand off your mouth?
*Shakes head*
Wait a minute! Do you still have a crush on me?
Of course not! I am so over you! I have a new boyfriend now!
Cool! What's his name...
Umm... Waitress! Coffee please!
Yes?
Mina?!? You work here now?
Well after Halan's Heaven closed down, I needed a job... So the logical place to go was this coffee shop.
Does this place even have a name?
I don't know of one. You'll have to talk to Gemini6Ice about that.
Oh. And isn't a main character working on the coffee shop hangout of the entire cast somewhat a steal from Friends?
I can't comment.
Why not?
Because I would never speak badly of Gemini6Ice. At least not after the last Teletubby incident.
What happened?
Ask Serena...
I can't. She's upstairs playing house with... Wait a minute! You were just up there!
Oops. I forgot! I'm supposed to be in next week's episode! Not this one! Dang it!
But how are you here and there at the same time...?
Umm... You two took so long to walk down the stairs that after I finished playing house with Serena and welcoming Halan, I managed to take the elevator down here before you guys got here.
I guess I can buy that. Wait! Halan's up there? Why?
It's a big mess and I don't want to talk about it... Needless to say, Serena's very upset...
Because of Halan?
Kinda...
I should start looking for a job too...
Hasn't that part of the conversation passed?
Sorry...
So what did Halan do? I'll kill him.
Don't kill him! Lita's in l-
Lita's in what?
Um, Long Island.
Don't you mean on Long Island?
Whatever. Anyway, my point is that she's just upset because he doesn't have any Little Debbie cakes.
Little Debbie cakes aren't any good anyway... If someone wants delicious they should try my Big Debbie cakes!
Remember, this is a family website. You, do mean those larger, individually-wrapped ones they sell in the stores for fifty cents apiece, right?
Of course.
Oh. Look at that. Time for my break. Time to end this episode. Just like I did last time. I bet the readers are starting to hate me now.
They're not the only ones...
Excuse me!?!
You're excused.
Sailor Venus Says: Somebody's coffee's gonna get spit in!
It's time for another episode of...
Doo doo dooooo!!!!!
The Amy and Melvin Show!
Wow, I sure like the park.
That statement was pointless.
No it wasn't.
Yes it was.
It was too!
Then what was the point?
To let you know that I like the park...
Anyway... To change the subject... So our viewers won't change the channel...
That was hilariously witty!
Why, thank you! But my point is, autumn sure hit hard... In just a few episodes we've gone from summer to fall...
Be careful what you say Amy... You might turn into a-
Don't say it!!!
Fine... Anyway... Hey! What's that camera doing taping us!?! Take that, you little perv!!! Die, die, die!Why'd you do that for? You ruined our netcast!
Wha?
That wasn't a pervert! That was our cameraman!
I can't believe it! You-
Now, now... Be careful... We can't make references to death or killing on this show, remember? Use the word "destroy."
You just made two references, silly cat!
Oops. GET OFF MY TAIL!!!
We're off the air now, Luna... Thanks to the "king of the gods" over there...
We're from Japan... Stop making Roman mythology allusions...
But the planets were named after-
Stop.
But-
Stop.
But-
Sshh.
But-
Zip it.
Zip loc.
Zip per.
Zip... Zip... Umm...
Just shut up!!
So what are you two doing here?
Luna wanted some fresh air... And since I don't have a job anymore, thank to Halan's Heaven closing down, I thought to myself, "I'll take Luna to the dog park."
So when she asked me, I pointed out that I would despise going to a dog park... So she took me to Central PArk instead.
Capitalization error. B.
Huh?
I'm practicing for my PSATs. They're either yesterday or next Saturday.
Don't you know?
Why should I fill my head with that sort of information? They won't ask that question on the test, now will they? It's simply vocabulary and writing and math skills.
I need to find a new job.
Well our cameraman watches our show all the time. Well, before he-
-got destroyed-
-he said that a few weeks ago, Raye mentioned that she was looking for a job as well... You two can go job hunting together next week!
Maybe...
Why not?"
Well Gemini6Ice might not have to time to write an episode next week as well... He doesn't even have time today. He wrote this episode on Friday, the day before the PSATs.
So it will be yesterday!
No.
Shut up.
Can we go home yet? It's getting cold...
Sure! Sailor Mercury Says: You guys had better help me carry this bed back to the apartment! Come back you three! Hey! Great, they're gone... Hey dead cameraman, you wanna help?
Zip po Marx!
What are you talking about, you strange little man?
That zip game we were playing earlier! I finally figured one out! Zip po Marx!
That game is so old!
...
Will somebody knock on the door, please?
I will...
Who's- Oh! Hi guys!
Uh, Serena...
What?
Can you let us in pl-
There you deserters are! I'll get you!
It's Amy!
She looks mad!
And tired!
And she's carrying a king-size bed on her back!
That's right, you punks! I carried this things up thirty flights of stairs!
Let us in, Serena!!! She's got a bed!
And I'm not afraid to use it!
I-I-I can't!
Why the hell not!?!
Watch your language!
The readers certainly are!
What readers?!?
Raye.
Sorr- Why is Amy carrying a bed?!?
The man I'm engaged to is a no-good, little-
Open the door!!!
I told you we shouldn't have taken the elevator back up here...
I wasn't about to take the stairs...
Halan, can I open the door please?!? I think Amy might-
-destroy-
-them! Well hurry up and hide it! Put it all in my room! I can? Hi, guys...
Everybody inside!
Come back here!!!
Lock the door! Lock the door!
Uh oh.
What?
I forgot to lock the crossbow!
What cross- Agh! That arrow almost hit me!
Here comes another one!
Our Italian leather sofa!!!
My bedroom door is full of holes, Halan!
Why are arrows being shot through your bedroom door, Serena?
Halan!!!
Well to make room for you all, I shoved all of my weaponry into Serena's room.
Weaponry? Woohoo!
Weaponry? That's kinda unsafe! You could hurt Serena!
Weaponry? He almost hurt us all by forgetting to lock the crossbow!
Weaponry? But crossbows only hold one arrow at a time, unless they shoot multiple ones at once, but these are coming at-
-Duck!
Cat!-
- intervals!
Weaponry? Can we stop saying weaponry before everything yet?
Weaponry? I don't know.
Weaponry? Maybe Gemini6Ice made a mistake...
Weaponry? Be careful, Darien... We don't want you to turn into a-
-Weaponry? Don't say it!
Weaponry? What does Gemini6Ice having made a mistake have to do with this?
Weaponry? Here comes another one! Duck!
Can we end this episode yet? I'm bored.
Yay! Lita broke the curse! Sailor Moon Says: Now that w-word is something we'll never say again!
Doesn't anybody want to know why I have all this weaponry?
Weaponry? You can tell us next time, Halan!
Weaponry? Now we're doing it again! Thanks a lot, Halan!
So, Halan...?
Yeah?
We're all kinda wondering...
What?
Why...
Why what?
Why we're in this van.
To get where we need to go.
But where are we going?!? With all these weapons?
And why are we driving this fast? It's unsafe! The speed limit is 50! We're going... How fast are we going, again?
86.
What!?! Slow down, you maniac! Your you-know-whats aren't that important!
Serena knows where we're going! Get her!!!
Ew! Get your grubby mitts off me! Help, Halan!
Tell us, you twit!
A pregnant goldfish... I should get one of those...
Huh?
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
Oh.
That tickles!! Hee-hee-hee! *Snort* Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!!
If you ever want-
-us to stop, then tell us-
-where we're going! And why!
This is absurd.
I agree.
Somebody turn on the radio. I'm bored.
Uncle! Uncle!
Uncle Sam is in trouble! This election is a complete fiasco!
Huh?
Sorry. I'm into American politics.
Ah.
Now tell us, Serena!
We're on our way to the police station!
Why?
We're planning to break in and steal all of Halan's animals back!
Ani-mals?
Yeah, the ones that the police confiscated when they raided his club! He collects exotic, black-market animals.
Like what?
The usual black-market animals. Bandicoots, hedgehogs, dinosaurs...
Dinosaurs?!? Are you crazy?!?
No, silly, the small ones with saddles that eat apples and shoot eggs at walking mushrooms.
Oh.
They even took the one I gave to Serena...
You never gave me an animal, Halan...
Yes I did. You remember your Sony Playstation?
You mean...
A "Jumping Jack Flash" rabbit was in there!
But they cost a fortune! And you gave it to me...?
Yes.
But why...?
Because I... I...
Yes?
Melvin, I've got to stop him from saying he loves her!
She can hear us, you know.
No she can't; we're whispering.
But the font... Nevermind... Just stop him! Give him something else to say. He'll probably appreciate it and not even realize what you're doing!
Great idea!
I... I... I...
Didn't want the cops to find it, right, Halan?
Y-y-yeah! That's why!
Oh...
That was close! Thanks, Darien!
Oh, it was my pleasure...
Well I'm bored now...
What do you wanna do now?
End the episode. We'll raid the police station next time! Sailor Moon Says: Are we there yet? (I had to throw in the title somewhere.)
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