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Hey, guys! Guess what I found!
What did you find, sweetie?
Debbie Cakes?
Shush! Trademark infringements!
I don't care; I'm watching Beastmaster. And even if I weren't, I still wouldn't care.
What?
She couldn't come up with a more creative response than that.
I give up; what?
More of my animals? (See "Have Yourself a Merry Little Incarceration.")
Way to do comic-book-like side-notes!
Does this actually warrant our asking, Serena?
I found our old home movies!!
We have old home movies?
Well, I wasn't around back then.
And neither was I.
These are old home movies from before I went away, right? If not, then I wasn't around then either. And if that's the case, I don't wanna watch 'em.
I wasn't aware we had old home movies.
I love you, Dar!
I had a brief stint as a television-chef, and I recorded myself on my VCR. Is that what she's talking about?
No, these are back from before we came to America.
We came to America?
Yeah, that's what I'm wondering.
Sheesh, guys! Where are your heads?
Well, we have them now!
I want catnip.
Well, just watch them and maybe you'll remember!
Hey!! I was watching Beastmaster!!
It was a rerun.
Your mom's a rerun!
Be quiet! It's starting...
|
Hey! Is this the first one!!??!!
Meatball head! Duh! Of course it is!
Raye! Do you have to be so mean? That's Darien's line! He broke up with me!! Waaahh!
Be quiet! Stop your sniffling! I'm sure he'll come back to you in the third season!
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Hey, she was right!
Of course I was; can we watch Beastmaster now?
|
There won't be one! DiC canceled Sailor Moon! And the only reason those hokey-pokey's in kareokey's got ratings is because they came on right before my show!
Um. Hokey-pokey's?? Do you mean Banana is Pajamas?
Now, because of DiC, Darien hates me! They're a bad influence!
I heard it's the Darien in the future that gives Darien those dreams.
Don't you ever watch the show!
I don't have to! I watch the "Today on Sailor Moon..."s
Okay, Darien's been having dreams telling him to break up with you or you would get hurt. I think divorces aren't allowed in the future and he wants out of being married to you! I know I would!
Eeeeewww!!! Raye! Why would I be married to you?????
That's not what I meant!
Then what did you mean?
You'll have to wait until the next posting to find out! Sailor Mars says: Bye!
Wait up! Why were we the only ones this time?
Because Gemini6Ice is having a hard enough time with two heads, let alone the rest of us!
Good point! How do you know everything he's thinking??
I ask the fire!
Watch out, Sailor Mars, you set off the fire alarm! Sailor Moon says: Beeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeeeep!
|
Are we done yet?
No. Now pay attention or else I'll pry your eyes open like in some movie!
A Clockwork Orange?
Oh, it was actually in a specific movie? Cool!
|
Sailor Moon Says: In the second season, some of the Sailor Moon says are the same ones from the first season.
Probably because they can't come up with any more good advice for the people out there!
Who are you?
Don't you watch the show??!!??
Nope. She watches the "Today on Sailor Moon..."s
Hey! We've got three heads today!!
Excuse me??
Well, in that episode where Maxfield died..
Four!!!
What about it?
Shouldn't the "Sailor Moon Says" have been "Don't kill anyone!"?
That doesn't make sense! What kind of person would kill someone?
Someone like Zoicite??
Five!!!
What??
It's a long story!
But she was from the Nega-verse.
Sorry, but we're out of time today!
Why do the infomercials have to come on after us??
Sailor SMRMLeiaoirnylteaelanya says: Heeheehee!
Sailor What?!?!
|
Wow... we were such dorks back then.
And you still are.
If you don't shut up, I'll find more videos.
How many of these stupid episodes are left?
Not many.
|
Sailor Moon Says: Yesterday, we had five heads!
No one cares!
I do!
You'd better not!
You're just jealous!
This is all your fault, Serena! Apologize at once!
No!
Meeeeeeeeoooooowwwwwwww!!
Why'd you stomp on her tail for?
Sailor Moon Says: Oh! I'll tell you! As if!
And Sailor Melvin Says: Eat your vegetables!
Get your shrimp and be Tuxedo Melvin. You can't be Sailor Melvin, unless you wear a skirt!
You're right!
Melvin! Give me it back!
I'm Sailor Melvin!
Sailor Moon Says: Heeheehee!
Finally, you remembered your line!
I did? I only made it up!
Sailor Mars Says: Don't step on your cats' tails! |
I'm bored.
Yeah, me too. Can't we do something more intellectual? Like even tic-tac-toe.
Tic-tac-toe's too hard; we're gonna keep watching.
|
Oooh! I'm full of that Thanksgiving dinner!!
Of course! You ate like a pig!
A very beautiful pig!
Why do I bother talking to you?
To get your daily dose of Sailor Moon Says!
As If!
Maybe I should dye my hair black. It would be harder for the Negaverse to figure out my identity!
Then Sailor Moon will have black hair! They'll figure it out!
No way! Sailor Moon will still be a blonde. Because on one episode I had a bad hair day and when I transformed my hair was as beautiful as ever!You just insulted yourself.
Now I have black hair!
What happened to your pigtails? Hey! You stole my head!
Well! Melvin stole my skirt!
I'm Sailor Melvin! The fighter of sea-food!
Luckily, I have my super-pencil!
Remember, Lita! Pencils ARE EVIL! Like in the episode called "An Animated Mess"!
Nonsense, Serena!
Hey! Stop erasin-
Sailor Jupiter Says: I got it on sale!Heeheehee!
Change back!!!
No way!
|
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It's been a long time since the last Sailor Moon Says!
My mini-computer tells me the Saior Moon series in Japan is ending!
But we'll live forever because it takes such a long time for the dubbers to dub the episodes!
Sailor Melvin is here! Ta-da!
Serena, you finally put your own head on!
That's 'cause I lost yours!
I have to leave for my karate class! Bye!
I have to leave for computer class! Bye!
I have to leave for fire class! Good-bye!
I'm the strongest scout!! Ta-da!!
Sailor Moon Says: Guys, please don't dress up like Sailor Scouts! (Unless you can pull it off, that is.)
|
Are we done now?
Yes.
Gawd, those seem to have lasted forever.
Hey, they were funny!
Hardly.
Please tell me we'll never have to watch those awful episodes again!
Never, honey-bunch!
I'm so glad we've gotten funnier since then.
Me too.
Uh, you wanna tell em, or should I?
Nah, let's just end the episode.
Tuxedo Mask says: Fifty bucks says the tape mysteriously gets eaten by a VCR without being inside it overnight.
Hah! How could it get eaten without being in a VCR?!? I'm game for that bet.
Pleasure doin' business wit' ya.
Really? Oh, thank you! Thank you!
Is the episode starting in the middle of a story again? I hate when that happens...
What's going on, Molly?
I called the number in today's classifieds... And I got the job!!
Woohoo! What's the job?
Umm...
Well it doesn't matter if you know what you'll be doing; you have the job! When do you start?
I didn't think to ask that...
Well where are ya gonna be workin' at?
I'm not quite sure...
Then call them back and ask...
Yeah, of course! I should've thought of- Serena?
What?
Where's the paper?
I didn't take it.... Lita?
Don't look at me... I'm making stew!
Hey guys!
Hey Amy! Where've you been?
Oh, I was just taking out the recyclables...
You didn't... take the paper, did you?
Of course I did! It's recyclable, isn't it?
When do they pick it up?
In... *Checks watch* three minutes.
Just when I thought we were beginning to get along! C'mon, Serena!
Why doesn't this place have an elevator?
It does.
Then why are we running down the stairs?
You're not running; you're falling.
Whatever... it hurts. Why aren't we taking the -ouch!- elevator?
It's broken.
Hey! Why is the garbage truck flying?
It's not flying, Serena; you're upside-down.
Oh. Did they take the paper?
I think so! We've got to catch it!
But how?
Did you just ask how you could catch up with an industrial garbage-and-recyclables truck?
Who are you?
Um, it's me, Halan.
Why are you hiding in the shadows, where we can't see your face, then?
To sell you a solution...
Is it another import-market video-game animal?
That is correct! Meet Ellie, the high-speed elephant!
How much?
Your soul.
My soul? For Molly's job?
Oh, it's for Molly's job?
It's for her job.
It's for my job.
Your soul.
Whose soul?
My soul?
No, her soul.
Oh, my soul?
Oh, her soul?
Molly's soul.
Not my soul!
For a pink elephant?
It's a pink elephant?
It's a high-speed elephant-
-that is pink.
I never said it was a pink elephant.
Is it a pink elephant or a high-speed elephant?
A pink elephant.
A high-speed elephant.
A high-speed elephant for my soul?
A pink elephant for your soul.
It's a high-speed elephant for your soul.
Is it pink?
Your soul?
The elephant.
The high-speed elephant?
Or the pink elephant?
The high-speed elephant for my soul.
Yes, I'll give you the high-speed elephant for your soul!
Yes, but is the high-speed elephant for my soul pink?
Yes.
Yes. How did you know it was pink?
How did she know it was pink?
No, how did you know it was pink?
So how did she know it was pink?
Yes.
So it is pink!
I saw it behind you.
Behind me?
Behind him.
Why didn't I see it behind him?
Were you looking for a high-speed elephant or a pink elephant?
A high-speed elephant-
-for your soul.
I can't give you my soul for a pink elephant.
It's a high-speed elephant.
But it's also a pink elephant!
Can we just say it's a high-speed, pink elephant?
I've never seen its speed.
I'm color-blind.
Are you really color blind, Halan?
No I'm not, but I assure you, for an elephant, or for any other animal, for that matter, it is a pink-
-don't you mean high-speed?-
-yes, a high-speed elephant.
For my soul?
For your soul.
I can't do it, sorry.
3 easy payments of $15.97?
Done.
Bye Halan! C'mon Ellie!
I'm going as fast as I can!
How do we know we won't fall off of you?
Because I'm also a magical elephant.
He was right! You are a high-speed elephant!
I'm a magical elephant!
You look like a pink elephant.
I can make you two fall off of me if I choose.
You're a magical elephant.
After that garbage-and-recyclables truck!
Moon, Crystal, Power!!
What are you doing?
I'm stopping that truck so we can find that job, Molly!
Oh, okay. Ellie, you're kinda cute.
I'm not that way...
What way?
Into humans...
Ew! No! I hate humans, too! I mean that you're adorable.
Oh, in that case, thank you!
Moon, Tiara, Magic!!
We did it! Stop, Ellie!
We're flyiiing!!
Ew! I landed on a diaper!
That's disgusting!
Ouch! A needle fell on me!
Why's this cylinder glowing green?
Molly...
What?
Look at the wall of this truck...
What? Oh no! We've chased the wrong truck! This isn't the garbage-and-recyclables truck! This is the bio-waste-disposal truck!
We're... contaminated! Waaaahhhh!!!
And now back to the apartment...
What're they freaking out about?
Well, you took the newspaper that Molly was using and threw it out!
No I didn't! I just took the paper-trash-can's contents out! I never touched any newspaper!
Then what happened to it?
Oh! Here it is! It fell on the floor!
They'll be so surprised!
Ellie the magical, pink, high-speed elephant says: I want peanuts!
Mmm... that was a refreshing shower...
*Knocking*
I can't answer the front door right now! I'm naked! Who is it?
It's Serena! Use the peephole!
Peep-? Eep! No peeping!
What?
Gotta get dressed... Where's all my underwear?!?
It's cold out here! Let me in!
I can't!
Why not?
I can't find my underwear!
I could bring you some of mine!
Hold on; let me check the washing machine! Nope. The dryer? Where did they all go?
Hey Serena! Why are you standing outside this house?
I'm waiting for Darien to open the door.
It's cold out here.
Yeah.
Bah! I'll just have to put some clothes on without underwear!
What are you doing here?
Oh, I take a walk to see who's standing in front of this house every week!
Isn't that kind of weird?
Maybe. But it pays the bills.
It does? Really?
No, not really.
Hi, Serena! And Lita?
Nice to see you too... So what are we watching?
Why is Lita here, Serena?
It pays the bills.
It's cold in here.
Really?
Yeah.
No, not really.
Sheesh! You guys should really shut the door! Any ol' elephant could walk in!
You're cute!
This is true.
Um, Serena...?
What?
Why is there a pink elephant in my living room?
It's so cute!
Oh, yeah, I forgot. She's Ellie, the magical, pink, high-speed elephant!
Cute elephant!
Don't you have something to go cook?
Actually, yes. But my stove is broken. Can I use your burners?
Will you leave us alone on our date?
Yay! Turn this dial here, and-
Oh no! Lita passed out in your kitchen!
Now she won't bother us!
Do you have any peanuts in here-
Oh no! Ellie passed out in your kitchen!
Wow... I hope Lita can support all that weight...
It must be a gas leak! We have to get out of here!
*Knocks*
Who is it?
Um, Angelina Jolie! (I hope that's the correct way to spell her name!)
Really?
No, not really, but thanks for letting me in! Now where's your T.V.?
That's none of your business! Now leave us alone; we're on a date!
Hey! I can't find a single working T.V. in New York, and Beastmaster is about to start!
But it's a rerun!
Like that's ever stopped me before!
I'm warning you! Get out of here, Raye!
Hah! Never stand between me and Dar! Mars, Fire-Fire-Fire-Fire!!
Oh no! Her most powerful attack!
Don't! There's a gas leak!
Ellie is on fire! Oh no!
My pants are melting!
And you have nothing on beneath... Wow!
What happened to my underwear?!?
We're really cooking now!
I'm melting into a pink marshmallow mess!
Nevermind Beastmaster! This is much more fun!
Somebody save Ellie! And somebody else get Darien some undies!
I'm so embarrassed... Can we please end the episode now...
But-but- Ellie!
Don't worry about me! I'll just preserve myself in the freezer!
Whew! Ellie's safe and fossilized! Sailor Moon Says: If you smell gas, get outta the kitchen!
Wow!
What?
I just got the mail and there's a package for me!
What's in it?
I haven't opened it yet...
Serena, you have a syringe stuck in your leg.
Oh, thanks! I thought I removed all of them after falling in that truck!
Open the package already!
Oh, there's a card: "To my dearest sweetie. Love, your little muffin."
"Your little muffin"?
It must be Darien! He's so modest... He's really my big muffin. Teeheehee!
I wish someone had sent me something for Valentine's Day... But ever since Amy stole Melvin away from me, I've been inescapably single! *Sigh*
I think it also has something to do with the fact that there aren't any more male heads for Gemini6Ice to put into the show, and anyhow, our cast is large enough as it is. And as near as you let on, you're only into the male persuasion.
Except in various doujinshi scattered throughout the real world and internet.
Did somebody say "doujinshi"?
Go back to your room, Melvin.
Well I'm busy in there, anyway!
*Opens the package* Oh my deity!
What does deity mean?
I have no idea; I made a 320 on my SATs.
Verbal or math?
Total.
Okay, now I'll ask what's wrong: What's wrong?
These Valentine's Day roses are dead and rotting!
Ew! Why would Darien send such a thing!
He would never do such a thing! If he couldn't find live roses he'd at least send a drawing of a rose.
He'd draw it himself? I didn't know he was artistic.
One would think that that Tuxedo Mask would be anything but short of fresh roses.
Of course! I gave him a package of 196 Crayola crayons his last birthday!
Oh my gosh! You have a stalker!
But I'm not corn!
But that was corny.
I don't get it...
A stalker is someone who follows and watches an innocent person out of his or her obsession for that person, Serena. Molly, Serena interpreted the word as one who removed corn from its stalks. But that would be a shucker, not a stalker.
Oh, we had a misunderstanding? Shucks!
I need to use the litter box...
I have a stalker? That's horrible!
I'm sure that scenerio has been approached by more than a few doujinshi out there.
Did somebody say "doujinshi"?
Would you stop going out there every time someone says "doujinshi," Melvin? Please?
You opened my present! This wasn't yours!
You sent dead roses to yourself under my name?
No... Look at the address! It says "Amy"!
Huh? Were those for me? You're so sweet, Melvin!
But they're dead!
Of course! My little Melvie-kins knew that I prefered dead roses over live ones, because I needn't worry about keeping them healthy!
I'm sorry she opened my gift for you, sweetie...
Why did you open my gift, anyway?!?
Well I thought it was for me!
Why would you think that?
It was between two envelopes of junk mail for me... Doesn't the mailman alphabetize mail by person that it's sent to?
Recipient.
You didn't even check the package for a recipient's name before opening it?!?
Well, I didn't expect that you would get anything...
Isn't it ironic?
Yeah, I haven't been able to find Alanis Morrisette's CD anywhere... Why do you bring her up?
I don't believe it was a musical reference, Serena.
That's right, Luna. I was just pointing out the situational irony in you not expecting me to receive anything for Valentine's Day, when the situation turned out that I was the only person to receive anything, and you got nothing from your "big muffin"!
How could Darien do this to me?!?
You did this to yourself out of arrogance. Now, Melvin, let me go show you how much I appreciate your gift...
Hand me the phone, Luna!
I'm afraid I can't do that, Serena.
Molly! Thanks! Darien?
Serena?
Did you forget what day today is?
Of course not!
Good. So are you bringing my present in person tonight, honey-bunch?
Yeah, of course!
Bye, Darien!
See you then, sweetie! And have a happy birthday until I see you!
Sailor Moon Says: I'm getting him a calendar for his next birthday...
I can't believe this...
What's wrong?
You know how I applied to NYU so I could finish my degree in biotrigonometry?
Not really, but continue.
How could you not remember?!?
Ouch! Oomp! Stop hitting me! No! Not a swir---
You were supposed to clean the toilets this morning anyhow... Your suffering is inversely proportional to your responsibility.
Amy...?
What is it Molly?!? Don't you live somewhere else yet?
I'm still looking for my own place... But why are you tormenting Melvin?"
I was rejected from NYU!
You applied to NYU?
Yeah, I figured I should finish getting my degree now that things have calmed down a little...
Well, I'm sure a lot of people get rejected from NYU. I mean, they're in New York!
So are we.
And you reject others all the time! See?
But I got a 1600 on my SATs!
Community service?
I'm a superhero, for crying out loud!
Class rank?
Well I was always first back in Japan...
And here?
I graduated before coming to the Unitdd States!
Then why wouldn't they accept you? There must be a reason!
Molly! Your work called! They want to know why you haven't been in all week!
*Glub, glub*
I never realized how big this bathroom was before...
I still haven't found the place! I tried to go to work at thirty different places so far, and none of them have turned out to be the one that I have a job at!
I want to go to NYU!
What's wrong, Amy?
I was rejected from NYU!
Hey, I'm free this afternoon! You wanna trash the campus?
Really?
*Glub, glub*
Can I come too?
Can you become a masked woman?
If we bring Artemis, I can become Sailor V!
Artemis!!
Ugh! I hate human bathrooms... They always stink...
Mercury Power!!
Moon, Star, Power, Make-up, Revolution!!
Meow!
Here we go!
*Glub, glub*
Destroy everything in sight!
That's right! Run, you little frat boys! Run your little butts... Mmmm...
I thought we were in a committed relationship!
Oh, yeah! Moon, Tiara, Magic! He has no head! Better, Darien?
Thanks, Serena. You're the greatest!
V Power Attack Thing!! Wahoo!
Ooh! People's legs to scratch!
NYU will NEVER be the sam again! Muahaha!
De-head all the frat boys!
Smash the admissions building!
Are you Molly?
Uh, Amy?
Die!!! Huh, what?
Why is Ellie manning the admissions office for NYU?
I don't man! I elephant!
I guess Ellie was the only one with a head ready for the position...
Yeah, why?
Well, you were supposed to come work here at the admission office! This counts against your vacation days!
Oh, this is where I got a job?
And because of your absence, we've had to reject several hundred applicants simply because we've been out of staples!
What about when you run out of envelopes?
E-mail.
Electricity?
Alaskan Wildlife Refuge.
But all the poor animals!
Aw, we don't give a flyin' jumbo!
Wait... that means... you're the reason I didn't get into NYU!
Uh oh...
Hop on, Molly! I'm not only pink, cute, and magical, but I'm also a high-speed elephant, too!
Get back here!!!
Sailor V Says: Run, Ellie, Run!!!
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